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No pun intended

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No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Sun, 28 Sep 2014, 10:26

People are telling apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.


over to you...

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Sables4EVA » Sun, 28 Sep 2014, 13:17

Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'?

No? Well it hasn't come out yet.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Sun, 28 Sep 2014, 13:39

Sables4EVA wrote:Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'?

No? Well it hasn't come out yet.


:thumbup: :lol:

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Fri, 03 Oct 2014, 11:31

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Fri, 03 Oct 2014, 15:47

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Sables4EVA » Fri, 03 Oct 2014, 18:55

You have got to love some of the headline writers.

The Vermont sign is still making me chuckle.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Adamstown 7's » Mon, 06 Oct 2014, 14:51

I took my girlfriend to a rugby game over the weekend, it all kicked off.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Sables4EVA » Wed, 08 Oct 2014, 09:49

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here. I'll go on a head."

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

23. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

24. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby YamahaKiwi » Wed, 08 Oct 2014, 11:12

It was his first time watching rugby. Needless to say he was converted.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Wed, 08 Oct 2014, 11:32

Past, present and future walked into a bar - it was tense.

A group of words went on trial yesterday and were found guilty - today we learn the sentence.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Sables4EVA » Thu, 09 Oct 2014, 10:49

I was reffing a woman's game the other day and one of them fell at my feet, I had to give her a try.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby YamahaKiwi » Wed, 15 Oct 2014, 00:53

US/Canada winter pun

At the start of the semester lots of boys signed up to play but got cold feet when training started in January.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Wed, 15 Oct 2014, 07:38

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything; trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.



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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Tue, 28 Oct 2014, 12:04

Diarrhoea must be hereditory, at least it seems to run in my genes.


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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Sat, 01 Nov 2014, 17:55

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Sables4EVA » Sat, 01 Nov 2014, 19:59

Looks like voting for them may be a dick move.

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Re: No pun intended

Postby Ser Podrick of Payne » Wed, 26 Nov 2014, 12:40

I just came back from the weekly Plastic Surgery Anonymous Club, there were a lot of new faces.


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Re: No pun intended

Postby flaggETERNAL » Sun, 28 Dec 2014, 20:25

Joe signed up for a local punning competition.Sent in 10 puns hoping at least one would place. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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